…especially your spouse, it’s very difficult to keep that front up sometimes. I was sitting outside a few nights ago, sipping my Chai tea, feeling extremely overwhelmed, exhausted, afraid, anxious, just to name a few…
It has come to my realization that my husband especially, honestly believes I can do it all or most of it, with extreme ease. I think even I expect that of myself too! It’s the supermom syndrome.
He goes to work, works hard I might add, but so do I. Yes it’s true the older 2 kids are in school, but Ashleigh requires a lot of time, running my small business requires time. Lots of it. My family comes first. So when one would think I have time to work (when the kids are in school) I am entertaining, teaching, playing with my youngest child. So I find myself having to play catch up on orders, emails, etc. at night, when I should be relaxing or dare I say even SLEEP!!
Anyway, I think I strayed there for a bit. Sometimes I am so frazzled half way through the day, I sit and cry. This woman isn’t as perfect as her husband thinks. The housework, the unpacking and organizing, taking care of the kids, taking them to and picking them up from school, trying to fit some work in between if I can, just to name a few. It’s emotionally draining sometimes because I feel like I have to keep this whole front up not necessarily for anyone but for myself, otherwise I feel lazy and worthless. Not good.
The husband comes home and thinks I just clicked my heels and did my thing. 5,6 loads of laundry done (it’s been like this everyday since we moved because the kids have more friends and play a whole lot more), kitchen cleaned(hours I may add – I am serious when it comes to kitchen cleaning), toys picked up, house vacuumed on average 4Xs a day, orders filled and shipped, I can go on, but you get the point as I am positive I am not alone on this one. Oh but wait, when the kids get home there is also homework to help them with……yikes..
Who gets neglected……me. Too busy taking care of everyone else. I looked at myself in the mirror a few days ago, hair not combed for days, I’ve been sporting my hat, dark circles under the eyes, a couple pimples most likely from stress, unhealthy looking skin, teeth a bit discolored from all the extra coffee I’ve been drinking to keep the show running, wrinkled clothing, and I thought, my God, something has to give…this is very unsexy not to mention unhealthy.
I think I need to manage my time a bit better. I need to start scheduling things, like limiting myself on the cleaning and the laundry. I’ve already made a huge step with that. I’ve increased my “time until shipped” on personalized items to 5 – 7 business days and even 7 – 10 business days on some products. It used to be 2 – 3 days. Too much pressure I realized. Duh….. I’ve been getting more orders so give yourself more time silly. Yes I can be pretty slow at times.
Anyway…….I don’t even think I said all I wanted to say in this post, but I feel a bit better.
The good thing is I explained how I felt to my husband. “You need to sit down and relax”, he tells me, ”just leave what you’re doing and relax.” It’s so much easier said than done. My response when he tells me this at times, “I just need to finish this one thing then I’ll take a break” but next thing you know it’s hours later and I’ve not only finished what I was doing but started something else.
I really need to keep up my blog. I love blogging and this blog is suffering because of my mismanaged schedule.
This sounds like my life. I'm so sleep deprived. I'm so grumpy and depressed when I don't sleep. My poor husband can't even get sex cause I'm tired. I work 3 days a week and tend to my kids 4 days a week while hubby works and goes to school full time. I'm glad your blogging again. I miss your stories.
ReplyDeleteYes Keya, I didn't even get into the grumpiness and we won't even go into the sex or should I say lack of that is going on in here because of the tiredness and my foul mood after the long day.
ReplyDelete