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Friday, April 16, 2010

…on marriage - Arguments


This isn’t going to be as in depth as I would like it to be because I am so swamped with stuff to do, but….

People, if it can be avoided please do.  Forget about the whole “making up is so much fun” business because people say stupid things when they’re angry and lots of feelings end up getting hurt.  No one, at least not me, wants to be in the same house with their loved one, angry and not talking.  That makes for a very awkward situation.   So if you haven’t already mastered the art of “tongue holding”, this will be something for you to work on. 

Sometimes you just have to let things go.  Yes, more easier said than done.  It’s also a good idea to maybe excuse yourself from the situation until you’ve given yourself enough time to either think about it or calm down, then have a discussion not an argument; and when you’re having the discussion please don’t have it in your head that you’re going to convince the other person that you’re right and they’re wrong.  You’ll end up at zero.  Get your point out, listen to and acknowledge what the other one has to say or is feeling.  Even after this, realize that you both still may not agree but at least you see where the other is coming from without screaming at each other.

I’ve known my husband for over 10 years.  We’ll be celebrating our 7th anniversary at the end of this month.  People who knew me before I was married would never believe it if I tell them my husband and I don’t argue.   Back in the day,  I was the one so quick to go off at the mouth and try to force whoever I was with into seeing things MY way.  Me Me Me….goodness I used to be so selfish.  Lucky for the husband I got that out my system :-)  Besides arguing is so emotionally draining.  Who has the energy anyway?  Certainly not me.



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